Its on my List of things to write, so at some point there will be a few ‘what if Stan got cursed post portal’ at different stages.

But yeah Stan’s in for a rough one here. He has full time to work on the portal as a cat but also has to sneak around town and figure out how to rebuild a portal without hands.

You are so right in that weirdmaggedon is the best/worst time for stan reveal. The twins move into this old house thats been in their family for years for a 'change of scenery’ (parents are tyring to fix their marriage still), this cat’s been acting like a magical guardian (that doesn’t ever talk, much to Mabel’s disappointment), it turns out this cat might? have rebuilt the death portal under their house? (Someone did, but no one was there to greet Ford when he burst out, and no one’s ever heard of anyone named Stanley Pines (Fords not sure how he feels about that)) Its a whole thing, and suddenly its the end of the world, Ford tries to hold the hand of a cat who has the collar, but either fails because its a cat, or because he was smack talking Stan and Stan’s decided to be Mabel and Dippers cat forever (because life is better as a cat after all).

Then Bill rolls up, and it turns out this cat has been a thorn in his side ever since he was resummoned (for whatever reason), and now that he has his hands on it, he can get to the bottom of how this one mangy cat has the nerve to stand up to a demon god.

And now there’s a second Ford, with cat features and wearing horrifyingly familiar clothes, and Fords hit with 'ah, it was the cat that rebuilt an inter dimensional portal’ along with all the rest of his failures now that Bill is here and has the twins.

Not sure how to get a good end from here, not with Stan getting his soul shredded. Or maybe he doesn’t, and now they have a amnesiac cat man grunkle they have to work to remind is a person when all his memories are of him as a cat. Stan’s convinced for a while he was a cat they turned human and is a bit miffed. Breaks Fords heart all over again when Stan mutters about how much better life was when he was a cat, and how come they can’t just turn him back? He liked being Mr. Mystery (his town given cat name) better than this stan guy they keep telling him he is.

No weird questions! Its a hilarious idea!

This is exactly what happens. Fiddleford joke married his wife-that-was-a-racoon to Stan the cat, then drunk married an actual racoon.

Stan officiated the wedding. He was maybe also a little drunk, but not so much he didn’t know exactly what he was doing and take lots of pictures. Fiddleford wakes up to Emma-May’s disappointed face about her new wife-in-law the actual racoon, and no one in town will let him divorce this regular racoon (that he has Ford uncurse just to make sure).

Fiddleford tries to do date nights and now not only is there a non-zero chance Stan might show up, theres a chance of Emma-May asking after Fiddleford’s other wife, and how come she never sees her? Is Fiddleford being a neglectful husband to his other wife?

Fiddleford is always suffering here lol.

Stan uses it to wreck everyone’s ankles over the course of an afternoon and it is quickly confiscated. This happens several times, until they give up and Stan’s stuck on his four paws and meowing pathetically for someone to carry him.

If Stan lasts thirty years then Mabel comes along and makes him something because ‘look at him! He’s so old, he deserves a way to get around without waiting on someone >:(’ Ford caves in immediately and makes another cat mobile, and the two of them watch as Stan proceeds to use this thing for high speed ankle hit and runs throughout town. He’s making a weird hacking dying sound that they think might be him laughing as he leaves a trail of sprained ankles behind him.

Ford gets all kinds of cat snuggles right up until the reveal. Then it becomes too weird for Stan. Thats his twin bro, he can’t just rub? his face? into Stan’s stomach? Yes Fords been doing it for years but now its different.

(I will say Stan’s fur is not soft or pleasant. Its like a stiff towel, all raggedy and frizzy. This doesn’t stop any of them, just makes others question their actions)

The town definitely has a riot when the mayor passes, only because no one can agree if it counts as Stan outliving the mayor when his human lifespan is quite average

Also, the idea of them still sort of treating Stan like a cat is hilarious. Mabel rubs her face into Stan’s hair and gives him cat treats in order to do things. No one tries to pick him up (thats a grown man) but Stan gets away with way too many people hand feeding him things just from crouching slightly and opening his mouth like a baby bird. The kids walk in on Ford absent mindedly putting chicken strips into Stan’s mouth. Stan sits on the couch touching things with his hands while Dippers paces in front of him and mutters his theories on why Nikola’s person shaped, too used to doing this in front of old cat Nikola he full on screams when Stan tries to pipe in with a comment.

Grunkle Nikola is also amazing. They tell everyone his names Nik and he’s there super human Grunkle who’s visiting. Stan still doesn’t notice, because yeah it was weird he was a cat and people would call him Nik so this is not strange at all to call him, Stanley, Grunkle Nik.

He is taking full advantage of having beefy arms and hands. He is picking people up constantly. He is punching and scratching things and hissing. He is acting every inch a defensive house cat who is now man shaped. He knows a scammer when he sees one and loves lying so he’ll just use his previous cat status to lie so he doesn’t have to explain how he overheard Gideons evil monologue or senses his conman vibes. And to get away with things he shouldn’t. Just tells everyone he can track things crazy good and finds things that have been lost for years because he put those things there years ago.

Stan’s mindscape is a total mess. He’s so used to being a cat too old to do most things, and so his mind house has this dozy atmosphere from all the sleep he used to be doing, full of mobility aids and cat things, then glitches out into one that fits Stan the man, gambling, sailing, his car, etc, and while Ford would pick up nothing, thinking its a side effect of Nikola’s sudden sentience, the kids definitely clue on to something being off about it if they ever went in.

The fact that they didn’t know Ford had a twin to even consider a possibility is another reason everyone’s mad. Dippers confident he would have figured out the mystery of Nikola (‘there wasn’t a mystery kid, no one asked me’ 'SHUT UP OLD MAN’) if he’d known they had a second grunkle. Mabels devastated her old man cat grunkle is just a regular grunkle who was a cat. Its just not as charming, now its just kinda sad.

She says, feeding Stan another cat treat.